The First Date

I'm beginning to think that people don't even GO on actual "dates" any more these days. It's all about just hanging out and screwing... which, of course, can be fun, but an actual real date where you sit and talk and get to know one another can be very nice.

I had been talking to "Dave" for a few days. We began chatting on pof, and then exchanged phone numbers and texting. After texting for awhile, he called me and we chit chatted here and there. I do have to admit, I really didn't think he was my type, but he was cute, and I figured, what the Hell, I'm not going to stick to just one certain type of man, I may be missing something wonderful.

After we chatted and got to know one another, Dave asked me out for a Sunday lunch date. It sounded nice, and I honestly couldn't even remember the last time I had a "date", even with my ex husband.

This would be my first real date since my husband left and I was very nervous. I felt completely out of the loop when it came to dating etiquette after so many years of not having to worry about dating and impressing a man.

As I was getting ready for the date, Dave called and chit chatted awhile, told me about his day and that he was taking his son to a festival later that day after our date. He quickly mentioned that he had to stop at the atm and get some cash on his way there. Even though he had asked me out on the date, I was planning on having money with me because I wasn't sure if I should expect him to pay or not?

A few minutes later, he calls, pissed off, saying that he couldn't get any money out of his bank, something about his ex girlfriend's car payment was still being taken out of his bank account even though it was supposed to have been stopped.

"It's ok though, I have enough cash on me until I can get it taken care of on Monday", he assuredf me.

We met at the restaurant a few minutes before they opened. I was a nervous wreck as I got out of the car. We said hello and had some almost uncomfortable chit chat outside while waiting for the restaurant to open, talking about our vehicles and how hot it was.

We finally went into the restaurant. It was a Chinese buffet place. Chinese is definitely not my favorite type of food, so I picked and chose what I ate. Not to mention, being that I just met the guy, I was not exactly comfortable eating in front of him so I picked some nice vegetables and ate a little bit by bit while we chit chatted.

The conversation was a little.. uncomfortable, I guess. He mostly talked about his ex and how she cheated on him and this and that. Even after awhile of being there, I still felt a little nervous, but I'm shy to begin with and this was my first date in over a decade!

As we were finishing up, he says, Oh, since I couldn't get my money out of the bank, is it ok if we split the check? .. Oh, um, sure.

"I'm sorry.. I promise next time I'll pay.. well, that's if you wanna go out again?" he asked.

"Oh, no problem. Sure, that's fine". I said.

As we were saying our goodbyes, he asked if he could call me later. I said, sure, that would be fine. He actually asked two or three times and as we were both getting in our cars, he said, "I'll call you later".

... and here come the mixed signals. Me, being new to dating, just assumed that since he mentioned twice about the 'next time' we go out, and actually asked me if he could call me later, that he WOULD call me later. Nope. Never heard from him again. Actually, I sent him a text like a week later, he apologized for not being in touch and said he had been sick. I told him that I hoped he felt better and to get a hold of me when he was up to it. Nada.

This is also where my dating etiquette questions began popping up, which I will delve into in another post.

But yeah, my first date was not the best of experiences. I first thought it was a little rude to wait until we were done with lunch to say, hey, by the way, can you pay for your own meal? and really, if you are not interested or have no intention of calling, WHY make the person think that you will??

Ahh, but this was only the beginning....