I spent most of my life being overweight, insecure, and extremely shy. Although, I had improved on my shyness tremendously over the past few years, it was still very difficult for me to meet new people, especially when it came to men. Now that I was single again after 11 years (actually, longer than that, considering that I had just gotten out of a different relationship prior to meeting my now ex husband), I assumed that "chubby chasers" or, men who like bigger women, were far and few between, and that it was going to be difficult for me to find someone who was interested in me that wasn't old enough to be my father or just a damned weirdo.
My sex life throughout my marriage was... ho-hum, to say the least. It was boring. There were many things that my ex husband wouldn't do, that I wanted so badly over the years, but I went without because I took my wedding vows seriously and refused to ever cheat. I thought he felt the same, but we won't go there on this blog. There were many things that I wanted to experience in the bedroom and now was my chance.
When my husband first left, I was, of course, full of anger, hurt, and resentment, and I yearned for attention from men, I admit it. I wanted to be wanted. I wanted to be touched. I wanted to be loved. My friends are all married or in serious relationships, and didn't go out much, and I have never been the type to go out by myself. Even when I did go out, if I saw a guy whom I thought was hot, I just automatically assumed that because he was so hot, he would not be interested in me.
I decided that online dating was going to be the best place for me to meet new men. It has always been easier for me to converse with someone through written word than face to face, and what better way to get to know someone a little bit before coming face to face, whilst also not having to worry about rejection based on my size because they would know what I looked like before meeting.
The last year of online dating has been a lot of ups and downs. I've realized things about myself that I never knew before. I had a lot of disappointments and heartbreaks, but also a lot of great memories and experiences. Apart from that, this last year has also given a huge boost to my self esteem after realizing that there are many, many men out there who like bigger women.
If you are thinking about trying online dating, first, realize that there are 4 types of people on these dating sites. There are people like me who are sincerely looking for their soul mate and feel like the online dating scene opens up a whole new world of people to meet and maybe, hopefully, find love with. The second type of people are the ones just looking to meet new people, make new friends, and maybe get something more out of it. The third type are the horn balls who are just looking for a one night stand hook up or a friend with benefits without any type of commitment or emotions. Then, you have my least favorite type of people. These are the ones who are unhappy in their own marriage or relationship and think that having a fling with someone new will make them feel better, so they make up a profile, pretend to be single and looking for a relationship, reel in the interested parties, play mind games with them, have some fun, then disappear because they got caught or felt guilty. The last type are the ones that you really have to watch out for.
This blog is going to be my way of sharing my sorted experiences with online dating over the past year. There have been some funny experiences, some hot, sensual experiences, and some hurtful ones. I'm still here, and still single, and still looking, but I am here to share every detail; every dirty, lustful detail.
This is pretty much my introductory post. I am still working on the layout of the blog and getting things how I want them, but I'm hoping that this introduction will catch some readers' attention and that you will bookmark this and come back for more.
--Syn
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