I'm beginning to think that people don't even GO on actual "dates" any more these days. It's all about just hanging out and screwing... which, of course, can be fun, but an actual real date where you sit and talk and get to know one another can be very nice.
I had been talking to "Dave" for a few days. We began chatting on pof, and then exchanged phone numbers and texting. After texting for awhile, he called me and we chit chatted here and there. I do have to admit, I really didn't think he was my type, but he was cute, and I figured, what the Hell, I'm not going to stick to just one certain type of man, I may be missing something wonderful.
After we chatted and got to know one another, Dave asked me out for a Sunday lunch date. It sounded nice, and I honestly couldn't even remember the last time I had a "date", even with my ex husband.
This would be my first real date since my husband left and I was very nervous. I felt completely out of the loop when it came to dating etiquette after so many years of not having to worry about dating and impressing a man.
As I was getting ready for the date, Dave called and chit chatted awhile, told me about his day and that he was taking his son to a festival later that day after our date. He quickly mentioned that he had to stop at the atm and get some cash on his way there. Even though he had asked me out on the date, I was planning on having money with me because I wasn't sure if I should expect him to pay or not?
A few minutes later, he calls, pissed off, saying that he couldn't get any money out of his bank, something about his ex girlfriend's car payment was still being taken out of his bank account even though it was supposed to have been stopped.
"It's ok though, I have enough cash on me until I can get it taken care of on Monday", he assuredf me.
We met at the restaurant a few minutes before they opened. I was a nervous wreck as I got out of the car. We said hello and had some almost uncomfortable chit chat outside while waiting for the restaurant to open, talking about our vehicles and how hot it was.
We finally went into the restaurant. It was a Chinese buffet place. Chinese is definitely not my favorite type of food, so I picked and chose what I ate. Not to mention, being that I just met the guy, I was not exactly comfortable eating in front of him so I picked some nice vegetables and ate a little bit by bit while we chit chatted.
The conversation was a little.. uncomfortable, I guess. He mostly talked about his ex and how she cheated on him and this and that. Even after awhile of being there, I still felt a little nervous, but I'm shy to begin with and this was my first date in over a decade!
As we were finishing up, he says, Oh, since I couldn't get my money out of the bank, is it ok if we split the check? .. Oh, um, sure.
"I'm sorry.. I promise next time I'll pay.. well, that's if you wanna go out again?" he asked.
"Oh, no problem. Sure, that's fine". I said.
As we were saying our goodbyes, he asked if he could call me later. I said, sure, that would be fine. He actually asked two or three times and as we were both getting in our cars, he said, "I'll call you later".
... and here come the mixed signals. Me, being new to dating, just assumed that since he mentioned twice about the 'next time' we go out, and actually asked me if he could call me later, that he WOULD call me later. Nope. Never heard from him again. Actually, I sent him a text like a week later, he apologized for not being in touch and said he had been sick. I told him that I hoped he felt better and to get a hold of me when he was up to it. Nada.
This is also where my dating etiquette questions began popping up, which I will delve into in another post.
But yeah, my first date was not the best of experiences. I first thought it was a little rude to wait until we were done with lunch to say, hey, by the way, can you pay for your own meal? and really, if you are not interested or have no intention of calling, WHY make the person think that you will??
Ahh, but this was only the beginning....
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Sunday, June 8, 2014
The First Encounter...
PJ was the first physical encounter that I had with someone whom I met on a dating website. We began chatting on pof.com. I think we chatted for a straight 12 hours the first day. We then exchanged numbers and began texting. The photos on my profile did show that I was bigger, but didn't really give the full picture. Of course, most of us women know that a good camera angle can make you look differently. Most of us don't like what we see when we look in the mirror, so we tend to only use the photos that may look differently than how we perceive ourselves to be.
PJ was six years older than me, but looked younger than me. He was thin, attractive, very active, and also ate healthily. This made me nervous about meeting him because I right away assumed that he wouldn't want anything to do with a fat ass like me. I approached him about this subject, asking if he minded that I was bigger. He said no, but I still wasn't comfortable with meeting. He was very understanding of my insecurities and basically told me to stop beating around the bush and just show him the real me instead of having an awkward surprise when we meet. I slowly began showing him more and more of me via text photos, and he never had one bad thing to say about me. In fact, told me once to stop being so insecure and that he has been with women bigger than me.
One of the biggest things that I missed throughout my long marriage was oral sex. My ex was a big time germophobe and didn't like to put much into his mouth. He wouldn't even drink after me or our kids because of our hideous germs. I think, in the 11 years we were together, I can remember 4 or 5 times that he went down south, and when he did, it was only for a minute, then he came right back up. I didn't get enjoyment out of it and it was something I yearned for; to be tasted.
PJ told me that he loved eating pussy, and I also told him about my yearning for it after going years without it. He wanted to be the one to make me explode with the slip of his tongue and I got excited just thinking about it.
After chatting and getting to know one another for awhile, a month or so, we finally decided it was time to stop talking about it and put our words into actions. He knew that I had just gotten out of a marriage, and he was thinking about possibly moving out of state in the fall, so we agreed to just start things off as friends with benefits, without any commitment. I warned him that I was pretty shy and that I had not been with anyone since my ex husband, and I would probably be very nervous.
Driving to his home, I was a nervous wreck. Holy shit, what am I doing? What if something goes horribly wrong and I'm just wasting my time? PJ talked to me on the phone for almost the entire 45 minute drive to his house and met me in the driveway to ensure me that I had the right place.
When I got out of the car, he met me with a hug and led me into his house. I was still a nervous wreck once inside, standing there like I didn't know what to do or say. Does he like me? What if he wants me to leave?
PJ was very polite and friendly, "You ARE nervous", he said, as he hugged me again and gave me two quick pecks on the lips. The kisses did put me at ease a little bit, I mean, if he didn't like me, he wouldn't have just kissed me, right?
We then sat down in front of the tv, watching a little bit and chit chatting just trying to break the ice a little.
Out of nowhere, PJ leans over and kisses me again, and this quickly turned into more passionate kissing; french kissing; making out, whatever you want to call it. His hands ran all over my body, underneath of my shirt, underneath my bra, his finger tips gently squeezing at my nipples. I could feel the excitement rising inside of me as we continued to make out.
Then we stopped. "Wow, you are a very good kisser", I said.
"Wanna see what else I'm good at?", he asked.
With that, he began unbuttoning my pants and slowly pulled them off, along with my panties. .. I knew what was next...
I let out a small moan as I felt his tongue slide between my wet pussy lips. My legs spread wide open for him as he licked and sucked my pussy voraciously. My legs shook, I gripped the sheets and moaned louder and louder, fuck here it comes, as I came all over his face, again.. and again. He just couldn't get enough of me. Oh my God it felt so good, I haven't felt this good in years.
After a bit if time passed (believe me, I wasn't paying attention to the clock), he stopped, then put on a condom before he slid his manhood inside of me. Mmmmmm, that feels good. With an animalistic stare he looked me in the eyes while he continued to fuck me hard and fast as I drug my fingernails down his back and wrapped my legs around his waist. Ooh yes, this is just what I had imagined and had hoped would happen. He pulled out of me and went back down to clean up my sloppy juices, kissing my sweet lips and every now and then he would let out a moan showing me how much he loved how I tasted. This went on for awhile, back and forth between having sex and him eating me into ecstasy.
I knew eventually he would expect oral sex in return and I was happy to oblige, but a little nervous that I wouldn't be up to his standards. During our conversations, he mentioned that he was picky about blow jobs and that I had to be good at it and do it a certain way for him to enjoy it. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to please him and he would be disappointed. This was far from true. I licked and sucked his cock while he held my hair back and I swallowed every last drop. Once we were finished, we both laid there smiling, and he told me that I had just given him one of the best blow jobs he had EVER had. I wasn't expecting that compliment, but I'm glad that my skills were up to his standards. .. I went home a very happy girl that night.
PJ and I only had one more steamy encounter like this one a few weeks later. After that, we had somehow lost contact. Not sure what happened there, but the future was sure to give me more insight on this subject, which may be my next post.
--Syn
PJ was six years older than me, but looked younger than me. He was thin, attractive, very active, and also ate healthily. This made me nervous about meeting him because I right away assumed that he wouldn't want anything to do with a fat ass like me. I approached him about this subject, asking if he minded that I was bigger. He said no, but I still wasn't comfortable with meeting. He was very understanding of my insecurities and basically told me to stop beating around the bush and just show him the real me instead of having an awkward surprise when we meet. I slowly began showing him more and more of me via text photos, and he never had one bad thing to say about me. In fact, told me once to stop being so insecure and that he has been with women bigger than me.
One of the biggest things that I missed throughout my long marriage was oral sex. My ex was a big time germophobe and didn't like to put much into his mouth. He wouldn't even drink after me or our kids because of our hideous germs. I think, in the 11 years we were together, I can remember 4 or 5 times that he went down south, and when he did, it was only for a minute, then he came right back up. I didn't get enjoyment out of it and it was something I yearned for; to be tasted.
PJ told me that he loved eating pussy, and I also told him about my yearning for it after going years without it. He wanted to be the one to make me explode with the slip of his tongue and I got excited just thinking about it.
After chatting and getting to know one another for awhile, a month or so, we finally decided it was time to stop talking about it and put our words into actions. He knew that I had just gotten out of a marriage, and he was thinking about possibly moving out of state in the fall, so we agreed to just start things off as friends with benefits, without any commitment. I warned him that I was pretty shy and that I had not been with anyone since my ex husband, and I would probably be very nervous.
Driving to his home, I was a nervous wreck. Holy shit, what am I doing? What if something goes horribly wrong and I'm just wasting my time? PJ talked to me on the phone for almost the entire 45 minute drive to his house and met me in the driveway to ensure me that I had the right place.
When I got out of the car, he met me with a hug and led me into his house. I was still a nervous wreck once inside, standing there like I didn't know what to do or say. Does he like me? What if he wants me to leave?
PJ was very polite and friendly, "You ARE nervous", he said, as he hugged me again and gave me two quick pecks on the lips. The kisses did put me at ease a little bit, I mean, if he didn't like me, he wouldn't have just kissed me, right?
We then sat down in front of the tv, watching a little bit and chit chatting just trying to break the ice a little.
Out of nowhere, PJ leans over and kisses me again, and this quickly turned into more passionate kissing; french kissing; making out, whatever you want to call it. His hands ran all over my body, underneath of my shirt, underneath my bra, his finger tips gently squeezing at my nipples. I could feel the excitement rising inside of me as we continued to make out.
Then we stopped. "Wow, you are a very good kisser", I said.
"Wanna see what else I'm good at?", he asked.
With that, he began unbuttoning my pants and slowly pulled them off, along with my panties. .. I knew what was next...
I let out a small moan as I felt his tongue slide between my wet pussy lips. My legs spread wide open for him as he licked and sucked my pussy voraciously. My legs shook, I gripped the sheets and moaned louder and louder, fuck here it comes, as I came all over his face, again.. and again. He just couldn't get enough of me. Oh my God it felt so good, I haven't felt this good in years.
After a bit if time passed (believe me, I wasn't paying attention to the clock), he stopped, then put on a condom before he slid his manhood inside of me. Mmmmmm, that feels good. With an animalistic stare he looked me in the eyes while he continued to fuck me hard and fast as I drug my fingernails down his back and wrapped my legs around his waist. Ooh yes, this is just what I had imagined and had hoped would happen. He pulled out of me and went back down to clean up my sloppy juices, kissing my sweet lips and every now and then he would let out a moan showing me how much he loved how I tasted. This went on for awhile, back and forth between having sex and him eating me into ecstasy.
I knew eventually he would expect oral sex in return and I was happy to oblige, but a little nervous that I wouldn't be up to his standards. During our conversations, he mentioned that he was picky about blow jobs and that I had to be good at it and do it a certain way for him to enjoy it. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to please him and he would be disappointed. This was far from true. I licked and sucked his cock while he held my hair back and I swallowed every last drop. Once we were finished, we both laid there smiling, and he told me that I had just given him one of the best blow jobs he had EVER had. I wasn't expecting that compliment, but I'm glad that my skills were up to his standards. .. I went home a very happy girl that night.
PJ and I only had one more steamy encounter like this one a few weeks later. After that, we had somehow lost contact. Not sure what happened there, but the future was sure to give me more insight on this subject, which may be my next post.
--Syn
Monday, June 2, 2014
In The Beginning
I spent most of my life being overweight, insecure, and extremely shy. Although, I had improved on my shyness tremendously over the past few years, it was still very difficult for me to meet new people, especially when it came to men. Now that I was single again after 11 years (actually, longer than that, considering that I had just gotten out of a different relationship prior to meeting my now ex husband), I assumed that "chubby chasers" or, men who like bigger women, were far and few between, and that it was going to be difficult for me to find someone who was interested in me that wasn't old enough to be my father or just a damned weirdo.
My sex life throughout my marriage was... ho-hum, to say the least. It was boring. There were many things that my ex husband wouldn't do, that I wanted so badly over the years, but I went without because I took my wedding vows seriously and refused to ever cheat. I thought he felt the same, but we won't go there on this blog. There were many things that I wanted to experience in the bedroom and now was my chance.
When my husband first left, I was, of course, full of anger, hurt, and resentment, and I yearned for attention from men, I admit it. I wanted to be wanted. I wanted to be touched. I wanted to be loved. My friends are all married or in serious relationships, and didn't go out much, and I have never been the type to go out by myself. Even when I did go out, if I saw a guy whom I thought was hot, I just automatically assumed that because he was so hot, he would not be interested in me.
I decided that online dating was going to be the best place for me to meet new men. It has always been easier for me to converse with someone through written word than face to face, and what better way to get to know someone a little bit before coming face to face, whilst also not having to worry about rejection based on my size because they would know what I looked like before meeting.
The last year of online dating has been a lot of ups and downs. I've realized things about myself that I never knew before. I had a lot of disappointments and heartbreaks, but also a lot of great memories and experiences. Apart from that, this last year has also given a huge boost to my self esteem after realizing that there are many, many men out there who like bigger women.
If you are thinking about trying online dating, first, realize that there are 4 types of people on these dating sites. There are people like me who are sincerely looking for their soul mate and feel like the online dating scene opens up a whole new world of people to meet and maybe, hopefully, find love with. The second type of people are the ones just looking to meet new people, make new friends, and maybe get something more out of it. The third type are the horn balls who are just looking for a one night stand hook up or a friend with benefits without any type of commitment or emotions. Then, you have my least favorite type of people. These are the ones who are unhappy in their own marriage or relationship and think that having a fling with someone new will make them feel better, so they make up a profile, pretend to be single and looking for a relationship, reel in the interested parties, play mind games with them, have some fun, then disappear because they got caught or felt guilty. The last type are the ones that you really have to watch out for.
This blog is going to be my way of sharing my sorted experiences with online dating over the past year. There have been some funny experiences, some hot, sensual experiences, and some hurtful ones. I'm still here, and still single, and still looking, but I am here to share every detail; every dirty, lustful detail.
This is pretty much my introductory post. I am still working on the layout of the blog and getting things how I want them, but I'm hoping that this introduction will catch some readers' attention and that you will bookmark this and come back for more.
--Syn
My sex life throughout my marriage was... ho-hum, to say the least. It was boring. There were many things that my ex husband wouldn't do, that I wanted so badly over the years, but I went without because I took my wedding vows seriously and refused to ever cheat. I thought he felt the same, but we won't go there on this blog. There were many things that I wanted to experience in the bedroom and now was my chance.
When my husband first left, I was, of course, full of anger, hurt, and resentment, and I yearned for attention from men, I admit it. I wanted to be wanted. I wanted to be touched. I wanted to be loved. My friends are all married or in serious relationships, and didn't go out much, and I have never been the type to go out by myself. Even when I did go out, if I saw a guy whom I thought was hot, I just automatically assumed that because he was so hot, he would not be interested in me.
I decided that online dating was going to be the best place for me to meet new men. It has always been easier for me to converse with someone through written word than face to face, and what better way to get to know someone a little bit before coming face to face, whilst also not having to worry about rejection based on my size because they would know what I looked like before meeting.
The last year of online dating has been a lot of ups and downs. I've realized things about myself that I never knew before. I had a lot of disappointments and heartbreaks, but also a lot of great memories and experiences. Apart from that, this last year has also given a huge boost to my self esteem after realizing that there are many, many men out there who like bigger women.
If you are thinking about trying online dating, first, realize that there are 4 types of people on these dating sites. There are people like me who are sincerely looking for their soul mate and feel like the online dating scene opens up a whole new world of people to meet and maybe, hopefully, find love with. The second type of people are the ones just looking to meet new people, make new friends, and maybe get something more out of it. The third type are the horn balls who are just looking for a one night stand hook up or a friend with benefits without any type of commitment or emotions. Then, you have my least favorite type of people. These are the ones who are unhappy in their own marriage or relationship and think that having a fling with someone new will make them feel better, so they make up a profile, pretend to be single and looking for a relationship, reel in the interested parties, play mind games with them, have some fun, then disappear because they got caught or felt guilty. The last type are the ones that you really have to watch out for.
This blog is going to be my way of sharing my sorted experiences with online dating over the past year. There have been some funny experiences, some hot, sensual experiences, and some hurtful ones. I'm still here, and still single, and still looking, but I am here to share every detail; every dirty, lustful detail.
This is pretty much my introductory post. I am still working on the layout of the blog and getting things how I want them, but I'm hoping that this introduction will catch some readers' attention and that you will bookmark this and come back for more.
--Syn
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